Be Mine?
by wrestlefan4
Summary: Chris Jericho has a crappy Valentines day and is going a bit nutty the day after...such as manicly shredding Valentines cards in the lobby of the hotel. Chris/Adam and hintings of a Chris/Shawn sort of. Little bit of language. Oneshot.


Be Mine?

Chris sat in the lobby of the hotel room cross legged on the Persian rug with his back propped against the couch. Between his knees was a paper shredder and next to him was a huge brown trash can filled to the brim and over flowing with spirals and confetti of white, red, pink, and purple, and on top of the couch and surrounding the Canadian was an army of plastic bags full of some kind of goodies. To anyone passing by it might look as though Chris was preparing for some monstrous little girl party where pretty little confetti was going to be dumped by the truckload. However, there was no party and the look on Chris' face was anything but happy, sappy, or otherwise indicative of birthday celebrations.

He reached into one of the plastic bags and pulled out a glittery card. He read over the words on the front with a bitter grunt and then shoved the stupid piece of idiocy into the paper shredder growling at it and enjoying the sound of the machine chewing it up and spitting it out into the little attached bin nothing more than useless, meaningless, scraps of shitty paper.

"For My Sweetheart On Valentines Day!" Chris dramatized in a feminine voice and added another victim to his tirade…whiiiiiir…and the little fucker met its death. Chris tossed back his head and laughed, tears sprouted at the corners of his eyes and he wiped them away with his knuckle. He yawned, lack of sleep beginning to show as morning light crept in through the lobby doors and floor to ceiling windows bathing the room in luminosity. Chris seemed not to notice just continued to feed the hungry shredder. "For A Special Someone On Valentines Day!" Chris read and tore the card in half sending the backside through the shredder. "What if you're not special? What if you're not Someones? Then you can just suffer you lonely piece of garbage. Why do we have a freaking holiday that celebrates love? Oh here's a freaking ten foot purple frog that shakes its ass and sings Elvis! That's how much I love you! That's beautiful, fucking beautiful!"

Chris ranted to himself as he finished the Dollar Store bag and started on one from Wal-Mart. People must have thought he was insane running out the evening of Valentines day and buying up all the picked over, pawed over, sad looking pieces of unwanted love. In a small way Chris almost felt sorry for the left over cards where they hung misplaced and lopsided in their holders, lost without their matching envelopes or stuffed into the wrong one…just like people waiting eagerly to be selected by that one person who will truly appreciate them for their beauty, simplicity, humor, romance, sappiness, or whatever.

"People are like greeting cards!" Chris chimed as he continued to shred. Whiiiir… "Hearts are like greeting cards! And all the time they get carelessly shredded by bastards!" Bzzzwhiiiir…

"Um…Chris?" A familiar and groggy sounding voice raised to the point of shouting over the gnawing of the paper shredder startled Chris who fumbled the Spiderman card sending it to the floor with a spray of poorly glued blue and red glitter into his lap. Shawn smiled down at the younger man looking more than slightly confused. His golden hair was still tousled from sleep, his blue-grey eyes still a bit dull from dreaming, but the foam coffee cup in one hand was helping to open his eyes a bit. Despite his sour mood Chris was momentarily distracted by how gorgeous Shawn looked with his pajama pants hiked up, one socked foot, and his jaw bristly with morning stubble. That thought only turned Chris's mood further for the worse because Shawn was taken, blissfully happy with not only a saint of a wife at home but a perfectly suited lover who kept him constant companionship on the road, and if that wasn't enough he had plenty admirers of all ages and both genders all around the locker room. Then, here was Chris sitting sleep deprived and half-mad amongst a bunch of Valentines day cards that he despised with his whole being and was taking joy in destroying one by one. _They're inanimate objects…get a hold of yourself. _Chris ran an unsteady hand through his blonde highlighted hair sending it into more of a mess than it was normally.

"What exactly is this all about?" Shawn asked picking his way through the scattered bags, cards, envelopes, and boxes. He bent with a creak of his back to pick one up and smirked at it, it was a box of child's Valentines, with various WWE superstars and divas on them. Chris outstretched his hand and reluctantly Shawn dropped the box to him. Chris tore the top off and pulled out a sheet of the perforated cards dawning familiar images. He tore one away and prodded it through the teeth of the shredder, Rey went bye-bye. He was followed by The Hardy brothers, DX, Glamarella, Cena, The Brothers of Destruction—who was the genius that put Taker and Kane on a Valentine?—but stopped with one particular card and studied it carefully running his azure orbs over the too familiar countenance that leered back snottily at him.

Shawn pushed some bags from the couch and sat down sloshing some of his coffee onto the rug. He grunted a muffled 'oops' and then tried to soak it up with his socked foot. After that little accident was taken care of…kind of…he turned his attention back to Chris and at the little Valentine he held in his hand. The image was that of Chris's boyfriend, though judging on Chris's mood and behavior there may very well be an 'ex' in front of that title as of now, or if not now, probably soon enough.

"Rough day yesterday?" Shawn sipped carefully at the coffee grimacing at the bitter taste.

"Hmph."

"Well, I'm not going to force anything out of ya. If you don't want to talk it's no skin off my ah—nose." Shawn corrected himself with a lopsided grin.

"He completely blew me off." Chris huffed, tears threatening to mangle his sigh. "We had plans, we were supposed to—y'know celebrate---frigging Valentines day and our supposed love for one another and all that fluffy, frilly, vomitous bunch of bull-shit." Chris' tone became less choked with tears and more choked with anger and bitterness. Shawn noticed the trickle of a tear down the Canadians cheek but he quickly dried it away on the back of his hand. "I'm an idiot." Chris half-laughed shoving the Edge Valentine into the shredder and watching it die. Instead of enjoying it though, it only made a few more tears follow that first one and he felt his nose start to go runny and snuffled it loudly. "Where the hell would I ever get the idea that he cared about me? Oh, maybe all those lies that he told me when he was holding my hand or looking into my eyes or—or fucking me!" Chris nearly shouted this last part, his anger rising higher. Shawn pressed his fingertips onto Chris's shoulder and offered a "ssssh" to the scowling Canadian. His scowl melted, dropping away into the saddest looking thing Shawn had ever seen, it made his own lips turn downwards in sympathy.

"We made plans for the whole day. We were just going to spend time together y'know. I mean we're on different rosters we don't get to see each other that often and—and I really miss him." Chris stopped for a moment trying to control his tears and the pathetic whimpers that wanted to escape his trembling lips. His thoughts traced over what was now yesterdays thwarted plans and the heated fight and it made him so angry he grabbed some more cards and shoved them into the now bloated shredder. "I had gifts…" Chris went on sending a heart-shaped card through the hungry teeth. "He even said he was getting me a ring…y'know like a symbol of our commitment. Hmph, commitment." He grabbed two fist fulls of cards and drove them down into the mouth of the shredder and it gave a sickening grunting sound before grinding to a halt, obviously broken. "Damn it!" Chris shrieked and in one motion launched the offending office machine across the lobby. Luckily it was so early in the morning that few people were milling around. It hit no one, just landed on the floor, breaking open and belching its colorful contents onto the floor.

"Chris…I know it doesn't make it any better…but we've all got blown off before, we've all been hurt before. I understand. Throwing around that thing unfortunately won't help." Shawn added motioning to the ruined appliance. Chris slumped back against the couch feeling physically and emotionally drained.

"But Shawn, every time I get close to someone…every time I get close to happiness, to love, it just explodes in my face. It just gets pulled away from me. It's like some bully cupid hovers around me playing practical jokes on my pitiful excuse of a love life."

"Chris--"

"Am I supposed to be alone? God please don't tell me that."

"You're not going to be alone. As for Adam, I know you care or cared about him but in all honestly he's not worth your time."

Chris closed his eyes and leaned back against Shawn's knees, the simple contact enough to give a bit of comfort. When Shawn's fingers began to knead at his shoulders a soft sigh escaped his lips, a shiver scuttled down his back lighting up his nerves and senses, arousing strong feelings he had buried away, after much struggling, long ago. It had taken a lot for Chris to move on from his first love, a man who was already taken by one Paul and one Rebecca but wanted by many. Chris rolled his head back into Shawn's lap and looked up at this man who was his best friend and first true love, a man who was trying so innocently to help but who was confusing Chris more than ever.

"You'll find someone Chris. Call me old fashioned but I believe there's someone out there for everyone." Shawn gave Chris's shoulders a parting squeeze and stood forcing Chris to straighten up and reluctantly give up the loving touches, the simple gestures that made him feel more loved than Adam ever could...no matter how much Chris wished it. As much as he cared for Adam his heart was already stolen by someone he could only love from a distance. Chris often wondered if Shawn displayed people's hearts on his mantle like trophies, he had enough in his grasp to have a museum opened. He wasn't dubbed The Heartbreak Kid for no reason, only Shawn could break hearts and never know it.

"Chris." Chris was jolted out of his thoughts. He looked up to find Adam in t-shirt and jeans swiping his hair away for his face in that habitual manner of his and snapping his gum. "What happened, did Hallmark puke in here?"

"You know, let me help you out." Chris tapped his finger against his chin as though thinking and then snarled sarcastically. "Is the phrase you're searching for anything like 'I'm sorry Chris' maybe 'I'm sorry for being an ass'…a huge ass!"

Adam rolled his eyes and repeated both of his annoying habits and poked at one of the discarded cards with the toe of his shoe.

"Come on Chris. You know I care. Stuff just came up. I'll make it up to you…I promise." Adam's voice fell off into a whine and he turned his face into a mastered pout. Chris tried to avoid the guilt that pout made him feel but he wasn't sure he could. He had to either brush off what had happened with Adam and hold on to the closest thing to love he could find or he was to kick his fellow Canadian to the curb an move on, alone and aching for someone to fill the void. _He'll just do it again, just the same as he's always done it. He'll use you when he wants you, make false promises, hollow hopes, he'll keep you happy enough that you'll stay. _Maybe that's good enough?

"Chris, I love you." Adam said with a smile Chris could not distinguish as real or fake and cupped his partners face in his hands, placing a soft kiss to his lips. Chris couldn't give up that touch, and so he forced the corners of his mouth upwards and replied back with the same three words "I" and "You" and that little half truth in the middle. Maybe if it was repeated enough, maybe if Chris stayed long enough, it would become true.

Chris laced his fingers through Adams and the pretty Rated R Superstar led Chris through the lobby leaving behind the mess of shredded and scattered Valentines and past Shawn who was now sitting behind a newspaper engrossed in the comics page. Chris smiled a display of both happiness and pain. If you can't love the one you want, love the one you're with. That's better than being alone isn't it? _Isn't it?_


End file.
